Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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