And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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