you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
