I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
