well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
