does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
