omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
