I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
