That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
