oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
