Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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