Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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