everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
