Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
