So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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