Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
