If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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