I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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