Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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