marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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