dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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