apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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