Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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