so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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