We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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