Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
