Duck Duck Cougar?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
