We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
