we're blogging at a bar
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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