You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I could have mohawked her pubes.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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