it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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