They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
