He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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