The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I forget how to act sober
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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