he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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