Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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