I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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