I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
