The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
