how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
