I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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