oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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