Buhtt sex?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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