Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize