My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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