I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have fence marks all over my body
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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