some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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