Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she looked like the before picture.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
