we have pet lesbian snakes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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