You work out of a Hotel?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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