He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
