is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
