I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize