thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.