Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.