Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.