i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I spit up blood this morning
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.