im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
