Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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