seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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