I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
