dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
