Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
