Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize